Note: This was published on May 19, 2020 and a lot has changed since then.

I think I need to preface this with saying that since I am fairly antisocial these last few months have not been all that different than normal life.

On normal weekdays my wife and I wake up and get ready for the day. Breakfast and whatnot. That hasn’t changed. What has changed is she doesn’t leave in the morning to go to the office anymore.

On normal weekends my wife and I sleep in, make breakfast burritos, and go outside for a run/hike/bike/walk. This hasn’t changed except that we don’t go to busy parks or trails.

What has changed is maybe somewhat obvious:

• We’ve cancelled travel plans such as a 2 week trip to Yosemite in August. We still have the Yosemite campsites booked (which, if you’ve tried to book before, you know that feels like winning the lottery), but there’s little chance we’ll book flights. I’m hoping they cancel for us so we don’t have to pay a cancellation fee, which is what happened with our Memorial Day camping plans.
• We haven’t entered a store or other place of business since early March.
• I carry two N95 masks with me wherever we go. Since we stay away from people and since we don’t go indoors anywhere we haven’t needed to use them, but in case of emergency and all that.
• I’ve been spending too much time on twitter.
• Anxiety 📈

Anyway, this is what I’ve been enjoying in isolation.

Music

Fetch the Bolt Cutters – Fiona Apple

I’ve loved Fiona Apple’s music since her first album Tidal so I am extraordinarily biased, but Fetch the Bolt Cutters is phenomenal. Switched On Pop did an episode about it called Did Fiona Apple Just Release a Perfect Album? which I enjoyed.

Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 1 and Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 2 – Lil Peep

I discovered his music two years after he died so I’m late to it, but I quite like it. It’s a poppy electronic blend of rock and rap. And when I put it like that it sounds just terrible. It’s not. I find myself humming the hooks often.

On The Widow’s Walk – The White Buffalo

One of my favorite artists released another great album this year. Jake Smith (aka The White Buffalo) also has a funny YouTube series called In The Garage.

Reunions – Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Isbell’s solo album Southeastern is one of the best albums of the past decade and he consistently writes good music.

THE GOAT – Polo G

Polo G’s debut album Die A Legend was one of my favorite albums released last year. This is a great followup.

The High Place Phenomenon

I’ve written some demos of my own instrumental shoe-gazey-ish music inspired by current events:

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”

Isaac Asimov

Song: Asimov Was Right

Last year I released a demo EP inspired by National Parks we visited on a road trip.

Books

I read some of these pre-pandemic.

And Then We Grew Up: On Creativity, Potential, and the Imperfect Art of Adulthood by Rachel Friedman

I gave this 5 stars on GoodReads. My wife loved it, too. (She also loved Rachel’s other book The Good Girl’s Guide To Getting Lost but I haven’t read that one.)

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead

I read this and Colson’s other Pulitzer winner The Underground Railroad back-to-back in a handful of days. He is one of the best writers of our time.

Filth by Irvine Welsh

I was told this was really messed up. It is. Not for the faint of heart. The phonetic Scottish slang also makes it a difficult read, but eventually — with the help of Google — you begin to understand it.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

I saw this on Bill Gates’ reading list and it was a fun read. I didn’t like the sequel as much, and I haven’t read (and probably won’t read) the third in the series.

The Likely Resolutions of Oliver Clock by Jane Riley

This was one of the free Amazon First Reads and it was a fun read with a slightly morbid premise.

TV

This is mostly skewed to Netflix, because we just got a subscription in March, but I added a couple other things we enjoyed prior to isolation from other services.

Love – Netflix

Starring Gillian Jacobs from Community. The first season was really good and the third/final season bored me, but overall it was a good show. My wife liked it more than me, I think.

After Death – Netflix

Ricky Gervais is never not good. We just started watching this and like it a lot. It’s both melancholic and funny.

#blackAF – Netflix

I’ve actually watched this twice. It’s the funniest show since Letterkenny, which was the funniest show since It’s Always Sunny. Kenya Barris and Rashida Jones play their roles here perfectly and hilariously.

Crashing – Netflix

If you liked Fleabag (Amazon Prime) — you know, if you’re a well adjusted human and all — then you’ll love Crashing. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is so damn talented.

Kim’s Convenience – Netflix

This is one of those things that’s so bad, it’s good. We’ve watched ~10 episodes and it’s good for a few laughs. I mostly only like the scenes with Mr. and Mrs. Kim, and Mr. Kim in particular makes me laugh out loud often. The other characters annoy me because they behave like tweens when they’re supposed to be adults in their 20s.

Escape at Dannemora – Amazon Prime

Watched this last year. Patricia Arquette is phenomenal in everything, which brings me to …

The Act – Hulu

Patricia Arquette is phenomenal in everything, redux. Also watched this last year.

Movies

Blow The Man Down – Amazon Prime

Dark. Funny. Great sailor songs from David Coffin.

Circus of Books – Netflix

A conservative woman and her husband open a famous gay porn book store and production company. It sounds like fiction, but it’s a documentary.

Frances Ferguson – Amazon Prime (although it looks like it’s no longer free)

A beautiful young substitute teacher goes to prison for having sex with a student. It sounds like a documentary, but it’s a work of fiction.

Knock Down The House – Netflix

I was not expecting to like this documentary about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and other progressive political hopefuls, but it surprised me.

Lil Peep: Everybody’s Everything – Netflix

The barely triumphant, mostly sad, story of Lil Peep.

Food

HomeChef

I think I’ve tried every popular meal kit besides Blue Apron, and they are not all created equal. (Blue Apron looks good but the meals all look too time consuming.)

HomeChef hits it out of the park with nearly every meal, but I got tired of the cleaning and prep. Their oven-ready meals solved this problem somewhat, but they also aren’t as tasty as their more involved meals. I cancelled HomeChef a couple weeks ago, although I might subscribe again at some point. I used to regularly buy HomeChef at Harris Teeter (Kroger) as well, but since I’ve stopped entering buildings that’s no longer the case.

Freshly

Freshly doesn’t hit it out of the park, but their meals are pretty tasty and quick. The meals are shipped already cooked and you just need to reheat in the microwave. Since I’m only doing grocery shopping every two weeks, and there are limits to what you can buy (and stuff is often sold out), having Freshly delivery helps a lot to make sure we have enough food.

My biggest problem with both HomeChef and Freshly (and every other meal kit) besides the enormous amount of trash they generate is that most of the meals hover around 500 calories or less. For a 6’5″ man that is less than 20% of my required daily caloric intake. It’s just not enough food.

Soylent / Huel

My wife likes Huel (chocolate), I prefer Soylent (chocolate). We drink them a few times per week. I like to have it after a run or when I’m hungry but don’t feel like making anything. I don’t think anybody should have these for every meal, but they’re a nice caloric supplement with a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat.

Walmart Grocery Pickup

I like that you just pop your trunk, they load your groceries, and you’re on your way. I prefer this to grocery delivery because my anecdotal experience with the handful of times I’ve gotten delivery is the delivery drivers don’t practice pandemic-hygiene. Getting pickup also forces me to drive our car for 30 minutes every couple weeks which I’ve told myself is necessary.

Apps

Duolingo – Brazilian Portuguese

We were planning a trip to Amazonas for next March, but it’s unlikely that we’ll go before 2023 now since their response to the pandemic has been arguably worse than ours. Duolingo has become less fun without a concrete timeline, but it’s still an enjoyable way to get exposure to a language. I’ve been wanting to go to the Amazon River since 3rd grade, but I put it off so I’d always have something to look forward to. Oops!

Libby

I mostly stopped buying books once we moved back to the US four years ago since the library has or can get any book I want (via interlibrary loan). The Libby app from Overdrive.com is great. You can borrow audiobooks or Kindle books directly from your local library. The selection isn’t as good as the print books at the library, but it’s still plentiful. I’ve been using Libby for a few years now and it has come in more handy than ever now that I can’t go to the library.

I think that about covers it. What have you been enjoying in isolation?

Here are the last two years:

• Okay, Okayer, Okayest – My Favorites of 2016
• Best, Better, Bestest – My Favorites of 2015

Gotta keep on theme with the title, ya know?

In general, 2017 was a pretty good year. That’s a lie. Mentally, it was probably the worst year I’ve ever had and it prompted me to go on medication. But it improved drastically towards the end (and I also went off the meds).

Back in November I got an e-mail from Amex with my favorite place to visit:

Anyway, how about we don’t dwell on that and move on to the good, huh?

Books

I didn’t read many books this year. Only 20. (Including 2 audio books.) And I also didn’t give anything 5 stars besides The Complete Peanuts Vol 1: 1950-1952. I stand by that rating. Although I’m not sure reading a collection of comic strips counts as reading a book. Personally, I’d disallow it.

So my favorite book from 2017?

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

I had high expectations for The Road because I’ve been hearing about it for years and it is often recommended. Expectations are tough because they can really ruin an artistic experience. I’m happy to say that The Road lived up to the hype. I should probably give it 5 stars, but it’s so sad that I’m not sure I can.

Runner up:

Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore

My favorite Christopher Moore book is Lamb, and I have yet to read something by him that I hated. He’s an absurdist and I’m a fan of the absurd. Secondhand Souls doesn’t disappoint, although it’s the 2nd in a series so don’t read it first.

Non-fiction shout outs:

Petty: The Biography by Warren Zanes was phenomenal. I had just really gotten into Tom Petty’s music over the past year. Then he died. Anyway, this book is great.

The Simple Path to Wealth by JL Collins. Mostly stuff I already knew, but haven’t followed over the years like I should have. (Had I, I’d never have to work another day in my life. ha!) It’s well written and I highly recommend it if you need to take hold of your spending and/or investing.

BONUS related to books: The Public Library. The physical building. It’s one of my favorite places to visit and I only really rediscovered libraries in 2016. (Did you know you can rent eBooks on your Kindle via your public library?) We recently moved and I made sure it was within biking/walking distance of the library.

Music

This is not up for debate. Album of the Year goes to …

I See You by The xx

I See You is such a perfect album I don’t want to sully it with my words.

K.Flay and The White Buffalo also released excellent albums this year.

Tech

Mi Band 2 – I bought this for my wife because she needs a 100% volume alarm to wake up. Which, of course, wakes me up too early. The Mi Band was $25 from AliExpress and wakes her up via vibration. Maybe literally a sanity saver. Beyond that, my wife actually loves it for running / fitness tracking. The battery lasts about 2 weeks between charges. And do I need to repeat the price? $25!

Amazon Echo – I listed this last year, but it’s still on the list. Love it. We also pay for the $4/month Echo-only Amazon Music Unlimited which is an excellent add-on.

Ting cell phone service

We’ve been using Ting for over a year now and our total cell phone bill for 2 lines averages under $30 per month. $26.22, including taxes, actually. That’s total, not per line. To be fair, we’re not data-heavy users. Get $25 to try Ting here (we get $25 as well).

The BOA lacing system – One of the cool things about working at Sumo is that they go on phenomenal company retreats twice per year. In December we went to the Canadian Rockies (Banff / Lake Louise) for 5 nights of hiking/snowboarding/other fun. I hadn’t gone snowboarding in about a dozen years and wow has technology changed. I learned about the BOA system there and I loved it so much that I just bought inline skates with it. I won’t try to explain BOA but I promise you you’ll love it if you’re a skater/skier/snowboarder. BTW, I know it’s straight out of the 80s but my wife and I love inline skating for fitness/fun. We did it a lot in Poland and slacked on buying skates after moving to the US. I’m happy I slacked now, though, because I wouldn’t have known about BOA otherwise. It solves the one frustration I always had with inline skating and snowboarding: putting the boots on and lacing them up! With BOA it takes seconds instead of minutes.

Instant Pot pressure cooker – We have the DUO60. Got it for $68.95 on Amazon’s Black Friday last year, but didn’t use it until about 6 months later. I love it. Particularly in the summer when it’s hot and I don’t want to heat up the house/kitchen. I will say this: instant it is not. Let’s say you’re making something (chili or chana masala are my go to) that takes “15 minutes.” Well, it takes 5-10 minutes to build up pressure first and then you have to wait about 30 before you can actually open the pot because you have to wait for the pressure to release. So it’s not any quicker than doing it on the stovetop. But it doesn’t heat the whole kitchen and it’s all self-contained so it’s hands off. I use it once/week, sometimes more.

Travel

Grand Canyon National Park (South Rim) – It’s kind of sad that I never visited the Grand Canyon before. WTF was my problem? Anyway, my wife and I went on a 5,000 mile National Parks road trip this year (5 National Parks + St Louis’s Gateway Arch which is owned by the National Park Service) and the Grand Canyon was the highlight. I was worried that the Grand Canyon would be annoying tourist hell, but even though we went smack dab during peak season (June) it wasn’t. Yes, it was packed, but it wasn’t all too difficult to get away from people. We are both itching to go back.

Arches National Park – It’s beautiful, but unfortunately part of the park was closed for renovation. Bonus: a few miles from Arches is Canyonlands National Park. While Arches was packed Canyonlands barely had any visitors at all. Too bad, because it’s also really beautiful.

Tip: if you’re gonna visit a few National Parks it’s probably worth it for you to buy an Annual Pass for $80. You can also get a free pass if you’re officially disabled. The pass is particularly nice at the Grand Canyon: you don’t have to wait in the long line to enter the park because Annual Pass holders have their own lane.

Other

Ibanez AW54 Acoustic Guitar – It’s crazy to me that this guitar costs less than $200, including shipping. Twenty-three years ago I bought my first acoustic guitar — a crappy acoustic guitar, I must say — used at a pawn shop for more than I paid for this one (adjusted for inflation). Anyway, I hadn’t had an acoustic for a few years and I missed it, but I’m also not a professional and didn’t need a “dream” guitar like a Martin. I was near choosing an Epiphone, because they have never done me wrong, but after reading lots of reviews went with the Ibanez AW54. I’m glad I did. I did have to adjust the truss rod and file down the bridge because the neck arrived slightly warped (note: this is normal, wood bends!; truss rod adjustment wrench included with the guitar) and the action was too high. These are easy adjustments and actually cheap guitars are great for learning how to fix and maintain guitars because you don’t have to worry so much about causing expensive damage.

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There is probably something(s) I missed, but that’ll do for this year I think. If you have anything to say let me know in the comments.

Hi.

The thing about tolerance is that even if you are a compassionate, empathetic individual, tolerance is not a blanket requirement. You do not, under any circumstances, have to tolerate those who are intolerant. Some people recommend ignoring them. Some people recommend forgiving them. Some people recommend turning the other cheek and giving them carte blanche to do what they will. Some people recommend making it known they are unacceptable. Any of those ideas can be effective dependent upon the situation. But I also like to do things my own way.

I wrote three versions of this essay. The first, the cynical and angry version began like this …

I don’t feel good about any of this. But I think the best thing about the recent past and the coming future is that I can tell it like it is and nobody is allowed to get upset or — gasp! — offended by it because it’s what they asked for. Your — our — feelings don’t matter. The new normal. Hoorah.

So it begins. January 20, 2017. Inauguration day. The first Dunning-Kruger Presidency. And for the second time in 16 years the losers win. But this time it was in the worst way. Outright lies. Propaganda. “Post-truths.” Dirty disinformation tactics. Or as the right is now required to call it: дезинформация.

Entitled precious snowflake demands-a-participation-trophy-for-every-thought-or-action Tweety McThinskin Donald Trump officially becomes my — our — President in a multi-million vote losing win. A whole lot of folks who think celebrities shouldn’t have a say in politics voted for a two-bit celebrity.

Because it’s not that they want celebrities to shut up. It’s that they want celebrities who have ideas counter to theirs to shut up. And that constitutes the majority of artists (actors, musicians, et al.). You won’t hear conservatives telling Chachi to be quiet. But I guess you could argue that he’s hardly a celebrity? Anyway …

I used to be one of those naïve folks who thought we could work together across party lines. We can be reasonable, right? Compromise is good, no? See the other side, shake hands, so on and so forth? But that thought changed early last year with the Supreme Court fiasco. (To be fair, I should have seen it sooner and that’s my fault.)

No, we can’t work together because most of them are not interested and they’re using your non-confrontational let’s-work-it-out ideals against you. You’re sitting ducks. It’s almost too easy. You were tricked. You were fooled. And you didn’t care or realize it until it was too late. (If you realized it at all.) My hope is that this makes you furious and spurs you to action.

And version one of this essay went on from there for another thousand words. But that’s enough. The second essay was less angry, but still heavy on cynicism. This third version is probably still fairly angry and cynical, but it’s more pragmatic. At least I did the best I could at this particular moment in time.

I do think those on the left, right, and center can work together, but the far left and the far right are so extremist I don’t see that happening. Interestingly, if you subscribe to Horseshoe Theory then the far left and far right are closer to each other than to the center. For example, both are anti-intellectual when it comes to basic science.

Although, interestingly, they’re wrong about different aspects of the sciences … except vaccines and GMOs. Common ground there. Ugh. Can we begin having a high school level science test as a requirement for holding public office, please? I’d probably even settle for middle school level. (Compromise!)

Another problem is that too many folks who are on the far right (or left) are so self unaware and delusional they think they’re being reasonable. I can’t even begin to propose a solution to that. Watch less TV? Read more? When a black family moves in across the street in your white neighborhood instead of shouting “where are these black people coming from?!” maybe invite them over for coffee and cake? Baby steps. I don’t know.

Is the moderate left, moderate right, and center big enough to make up for the fanatics on the far right and far left. I’m not optimistic, but it’s the only thread I’m hanging on.

But even if this group is big enough is it even possible to bring those of us who are not on the extremes together? Again, I don’t know. I’ll do what I can by supporting conservatives who are trying to be a bridge across the center. There aren’t many of them. One of the most vocal right now seems to be Evan McMullin. I don’t agree with him on most things, but at least he comes across as an ethical man of integrity. It’s possible to work together with people you disagree with if they’re people of integrity.

With that long preamble let’s get to the good, or depending on the type of person you are, the bad. Actually, this is a good test. You’ll likely only believe this is bad if you’re an authoritarian zealot who thinks racism doesn’t exist and/or women’s place is in the kitchen and/or poor people deserve it. You likely also believe liberals are communists because you’re intellectually stunted and don’t understand what words mean. Oops, anger is showing. No feelings …

Today begins the year(s) of Spiteful Altruism. That is, giving out of spite. (Is that cynical?)

I’ve generally been a giver as an adult and have given away in the vicinity of $100k — to charities and to individuals — over the past 15 years. From a wealth building perspective that was dumb and about two years ago I decided most big giving would stop — no more $5k or $10k checks, but maybe $100 here and there — until our net worth is more significant. But what’s the point of wealth if you live in a bubble and outside that bubble are people much like you who are hurting or struggling, most through no faults of their own?

No, life’s not fair and never will be, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to help people if we’re able to. My wife and I are able to. (Although I would like to point out that while this is with her full support she doesn’t necessarily endorse my methods and she is much more kind than I am here.) Many of the folks who are supposed to be role models — elected officials, baby boomer parents — are anything but so we have to put it upon ourselves.

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs (oh hello foreclosure), but I’ve generally had more than enough. I mean, I’ve never had to wonder if I could afford 2,000+ calories per day or anything close to that. So I’ve always been happy to give. But this time?

This time it’s different. Usually giving came from a positive place and I didn’t talk about most of it in public or in private. Now I think maybe if I talk about it then fellow misanthropes will join me, get louder, and stand up for or support more causes they care about. If nothing else, maybe it will make me feel better. (Oops, I forgot the no feelings rule again. This isn’t easy.)

If we don’t do something now then we’ll have nothing worth having in the future anyway so I’m trying to remember the long game.

That’s not to say I think money alone is the answer here. Maybe you’re not into giving money or you actually have to worry about affording those 2,000+ calories per day. If, instead, you’re the type of person to engage in non-violent protest (the thin-skinned right hates protest if that’s at all motivating for you) or volunteer time or even take 15 minutes to call the folks in office who are supposed to represent you then high five to you. Thank you for being and doing good. There isn’t a single correct approach, but it helps if everybody does something. Another motivating factor: if you feel defeated and feel like you can’t do anything about anything that’s exactly what they want you to think and feel. Don’t let them beat you so easily.

Anyway, here is where the first $3,000+ is going.

• Planned Parenthood. Because fuck supporters of anti-woman (and anti-gay and anti-personal-freedom and anti-many-other-things) VP Mike Pence and the rest of the “keep government out of people’s lives except when it has anything to do with Christianity and women’s bodies” Republicans. It’s fine if you’re anti-abortion, but maybe you should also support those children and the families that didn’t want them after they’re forced to be born? (Also, please take a 9th grade biology class and learn about the reproductive process.) And maybe shut the fuck up and don’t force your flawed man-made ideology on the rest of us. In the words of Republican hero and Founding Father John Adams, taken from Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli (1797): “the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.” In case it wasn’t clear, this is a fuck you to you holier-than-thou immoral dregs who think you’re morally superior. You are the problem. Planned Parenthood gets $2,400 ($200/month for at least the next 12 months). http://plannedparenthood.org
  
  
• Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF). They protect the US Constitution, plain and simple. The same Constitution that Republicans pretend to love (only as long as we’re talking about the Second Amendment). FFRF fights to keep the separation of church and state real in this country and it’s going to be a greater struggle now with President Trump and Vice President Pence and their Christian extremist cabinet. FFRF gets $100. http://ffrf.org
  
  
• American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The first sign that they do good is that they’re strongly disliked by our new administration and those on the far right. The ACLU protects our constitutional rights and here is their plan to fight the Trump administration. They get $120 ($10/month for at least 12 months). https://www.aclu.org
  
• Against Malaria Foundation. They’re one of the most effective charities at what they do according to GiveWell. Against Malaria buys and distributes mosquito nets to people to help prevent malaria. In other words, they save lives. They get $250, which buys 100 mosquito nets. This link is to our fundraising page if you’d like to join us (and you can see our $250 donation there): https://www.againstmalaria.com/gajda
• Ex-Muslims of North America because people need to stop treating religion with kid’s gloves, read at least some of the Quran, and support the individuals who are persecuted or worse for leaving Islam. No religion — definitely not Islam, definitely not Christianity — is a religion of peace (well, maybe Jainism?) and the sooner you stop convincing yourself otherwise the sooner we can all progress passed using man-made fairy tales as a basis for living. They get $100. http://exmna.org
  
• RIP Medical Debt because they’re a sweet organization that abolishes medical debt for Americans who should never have to incur medical debt in the first place. Unfortunately, we have a large contingency of people who would rather watch folks suffer or die than help them. It’s also personal. As an American with pre-existing conditions I may need this organization at some point in the future after the people now in power get their way. That’s assuming we can’t fix their deadly mistakes by then. Over the long term — a generation, two generations? — I’m optimistic that we will, though. They get $100. https://www.ripmedicaldebt.org
  

More to come when we can. If you have an organization you think is worthy please share it in the comments or in a private message.

Sheesh. Telling it like it is sure is tiring and that didn’t end on the positive note I was hoping for. Maybe I should start tweeting again and keep it to 140 characters.

Welcome to the present.

“Democracy is messy. … But I believe in this country. I believe in the American people.” – 44th President of the United States Barack Obama at his final press conference as President (January 18, 2017)

I believe in us as well, President Obama. Thank you.

Peace, love, and don’t let them drag you down.

-Karol-

P.S. If this essay resonated with you it will probably resonate with your friends. Please share it on Facebook:

I just launched TheHappyLetter.com. One short story or anecdote daily, smile included.

I hope you like it.

I may be late to the party, but it’s nice to reflect on some good things once in a while. (Here’s my list from last year.) Probably more than once in a while, but besides 2016 not being a good year politically it was also a worse year personally. So let’s start: Gravitational waves! Solar power!

Whew, I feel better already.

It wasn’t all bad personally because …

My wife and I finally moved to the US! We’re currently living in the Raleigh, NC suburbs within walking distance of my wife’s work. If you know me at all you know I loathe the suburbs, but public transportation is relegated to few cities so the next best option is to live as close to work as possible and drive everywhere else. (Another option is to not take a job in the suburbs, but it’s not relevant to our case since my wife wanted this job, turned down others, and I support her decision.) The trick to living in the suburbs is to actually force yourself to gtfo, which isn’t always easy. We’ve been doing an okay job (there’s a wonderful state park just a few miles away!), but we should probably sit down to budget time and money specifically for getting out more often.

Books

I didn’t read very much last year. I completed 30 books, the lowest total in years. I gave two books 5 stars on GoodReads.

Heretic: Why Islam Needs A Reformation Now by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

First off, Ms. Ali is a hero. Second off, this is a must-read for liberals (and moderates too), particularly those who consider themselves progressives.

Digging Up Mother: A Love Story by Doug Stanhope

This was so good and sweet and sad and hilarious and I hate that when something is all of those things I don’t know how to express it. Doug Stanhope is one of my favorite stand up comics, but his comedy is not for everybody. Which, I know, is true of probably literally everything in the world so I just used a bunch of words to say nothing and wasted time, yours and mine. Anyway, this book is the story of Doug helping his mother commit suicide. But it’s actually a lot more than that. Read it if you want to cry and laugh, or cry laughing.

Bonus, although I didn’t give this one 5 stars, I gave it 4 and it was great:

Elon Musk: Inventing The Future by Ashley Vance

This is engagingly written and Elon Musk is a world treasure. If only we could create more people like him.

Music

Since I don’t use Spotify anymore I wasn’t able to keep track of my most played music of the year. It’s the one downside to Amazon Music, but I can deal with it since the only benefit of keeping track of what I listen to is writing about it here. Also, a note: I cancelled Spotify last January and started only using Amazon Prime Music. But we got an Amazon Echo a few months ago and now have the $3.99/month Amazon Music Unlimited plan for it. It’s working out swimmingly. (More on Echo soon.)

Every Open Eye by Chvrches

Really, it should be both Chvrches albums since they’re both on repeat constantly in the house. Every Open Eye was released in 2015, but I didn’t listen to this band until January 2016 — thanks to my obsession with Metric — so it counts for me here.

Must listen track: Bury It

22, A Million by Bon Iver

For Emma, Forever Ago is still tops for me, but Justin Vernon can do no wrong. This album is spectacular.

I can’t currently name any other new albums I listened to and loved in 2016. There has to be something that I’m missing, but as it is I listened to a lot of these artists: Coheed & Cambria, Metric, Leonard Cohen, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, The White Buffalo, Creedence Clearwater Revival, silverchair … well, ok, I think I’ll stop naming everything I listen to because we’ll be here all day.

One interesting aside: after a 5 year obsession with country music it mostly waned last year. I still listen to Tammy Wynette, Carrie Underwood, and Miranda Lambert fairly regularly, though. Those three have some of the best voices in music.

Comedy

I’ve been a stand up comedy fan since 6th grade when I bought George Carlin’s Classic Gold from the Columbia House music club. If there is one profession I wish I was brave enough to try it would be stand up comedy. My wife laughs at me because when I listen to comedy I usually have a total serious expression on my face, but inside I am often bursting at the seams. I don’t know what that’s about, but maybe it’s because great comedy will make you think.

Thoughts & Prayers by Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik is the funniest comedian of the past decade. His older albums are perfect. His latest, Thoughts & Prayers, is as well. I’ve easily listened to it a dozen times by now.

No Place Like Home by Doug Stanhope

You probably won’t like Stanhope’s comedy, but if you’re a misanthropic fuck up then it might just be up your alley.

If you like Louis C.K. because you think, “wtf! did he just say that?!” then you need to listen to both of these guys.

Film

I saw very few new movies last year, but one can only watch Ghost World so many times before needing a change.

Zootopia

I know there have been a lot of good animated films made in my time, but I would put this one right at the top. It’s sweet and hilarious.

Tech

Amazon Echo

Do you remember when you were 13 and you had a 6 CD changer stereo and you just couldn’t believe you could listen to so much great music so easily? Now add just about every album ever released, top it off with instant timers and weather and personal assistant type features, and you have Amazon Echo.

I considered getting the Google Home device, but Echo is better for our needs. It’s cheaper ($3.99 for Amazon Music Unlimited vs $9.99/month for Google Music), the wake word is human (“Alexa” as opposed to “OK Google”) which feels nice, and it has more integration possibilities at the moment. (Although we don’t use any of them yet.)

Audiophiles may complain that the speakers don’t compare to a high end stereo. They would be correct. The lack of EQ or even fine tuned volume control (for example, the difference between a volume setting of 2 and 3 is too vast and there is no in between) is disappointing. But it suits our needs and I would buy Echo again.

My other favorites — Apps, YouTubers, and Podcasts el al. — aren’t all that different from last year so I won’t repeat them.

That’s all for this year. Thanks for reading.

Wed. Nov 9, 2016. 4:18pm

I know, I know. “Bigotry wins. Misogyny wins. Science denying wins. Egalitarianism loses. Being brash, rude, mean and divisive is the new normal. The Electoral College is broken.” Etc, etc. I’m not sure I completely believe all of that — maybe Trump is a genius, he’s really a centrist, and he scammed the GOP? — but no need for me to continue down that road anyway.

The reality is Hillary Clinton lost fair and square. She got more votes, but lost the more important Electoral College. The last time this happened back in 2000 I actually voted for the eventual winner and thought it was wrong. This time I don’t feel it’s any less wrong. But it is the system we have. Losing hurts, but losing is part of life.

I won’t place blame. Approximately 4% of voters chose a third party and that is well within their rights. I did what I could to steer them towards Hillary Clinton, but it wasn’t enough. I don’t blame them. Third party voters did not lose this election. Democrats lost this election by not showing up at the polls.

(That said, I’m not quite that kind. I do blame some of those third party voters for believing so many of the lies and conspiracies about Hillary Clinton. How do we teach critical thinking to those who refuse to accept it? I don’t know.)

I won’t blame the youth, either. Did they turn out? No, not as much as they could have. But this is their world and if they’re indifferent then there’s not much anybody can do about it. Maybe this will inspire them.

I’ve mentioned before that not much will change for me personally no matter who is president. (We’ll talk health insurance another day. ObamaCare was the best thing I’d ever had in over a dozen years of buying my own individual insurance.)

I don’t vote for me, though. My wife and I don’t plan to have children so I don’t vote for them, either. I vote for my nieces. I vote for my friends’ children. I vote for my friends who are in the minority (although a minority of minorities voted Trump, so maybe they know something we don’t?). I vote for the people who are directly affected, and disaffected as the case may be, due to extremist policy change. I’m nervous that the US is becoming like the country of my birth, but that looks like the way it’s going. I think we’ll be able to fix this before the youngsters I know are old enough to vote. I hope so. But it may be difficult. There is a lot of anger out there across the political spectrum and we need to figure out how to do something about that. I don’t know what.

What I do know is that in 2018 we will have midterm elections. All 435 seats in the House of Representatives are up for grabs and 33 of the 100 Senate seats will be contested. The best we can hope for is that the next two years will inspire (or horrify) those who didn’t vote to get out and do so. And yes, I know gerrymandering has made it difficult to pick up a majority of seats in the House, but crazier things have happened. *ahem* The Senate, though? That’s where we can make things happen. It will be quite difficult since there are 25 Dem seats, including 5 in red states, up for grabs. But crazier things have happened. *ahem* A lot of you are looking to 2020. That’s great. But we’ve got to do something to inspire the youth to vote in 2018. We can stop the hemorrhaging sooner rather than later. Maybe a Donald Trump presidency is just what we need to inspire more people who are directly affected by the political process to actually participate. (Or, hear me out here, maybe a Donald Trump presidency won’t be as bad as we thought. I’m not expecting that to be the case, but it’s possible.)

As a moderate independent who has voted Republican and Democrat in the past I have already made a vow to never vote Republican again. It’s not that I think Republicans are terrible, but the lack of transparency, the lack of policy ideas, and the number of outright lies in their campaign this year made me lose all respect. They don’t deserve my vote. This was the first time I actually didn’t vote for a single Republican on the ballot. I hope other moderates will join me, because although the far left is misguided it isn’t terrifying like the far right. The far left is misguided about things like GMOs and nuclear energy and being honest about religion. The far right is misguided about that in addition to, incredibly enough, high school level science (e.g. evolution, climate change, biology). They are also misguided about the state of the world and humanity itself. Things were already good, even great. And humans are mostly good and incredibly resilient.

I don’t want to live in a hateful world anymore than you do. The next few years may not look great, but we don’t know yet how things will shape up. Maybe there are some Republicans left in Congress who have morals. I’m not counting on it, but maybe. If so, maybe Donald Trump will not have a near authoritarian power to do what he wants. That’s how our government is supposed to work, but with Republican majorities in all the relevant places it’s hard to understand how there will be checks and balances. (OK, the Senate does not have a fillibuster proof majority, but that’s not much of a positive.) At this point all we can do is hope and I know that kind of uncertainty doesn’t inspire pleasant feelings.

I don’t know how to close this except to say that it will be okay. You’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. Whatever you are feeling please feel it. And then get to work to fix this. Don’t give up. Don’t give in.

###

If you’d like a soundtrack here are two tracks for you:

“But I still believe
And I will rise up with fists
And I will take what’s mine mine mine”

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins – Rise Up (With Fists!!)

“I want to find the water
That will wash this whole damn slate clean
Break down, break up
We sleep in what we create

Right now, I’m living so much hate”

boysetsfire – Still Waiting For The Punchline

###

Thursday morning (Nov 10). I didn’t even send this post out to my e-mail list and I’m already sending “Deplorable Jack” comments to spam. Wow, that was quick. As has always been my comment policy: I am writing in public. You must also. Anonymity has no place in open dialogue.

Update Nov 9, 2016: WOW. Sorry, America, we didn’t do our jobs well enough. But the youth will prevail. Eventually.

Believe me, people are saying this is the best poem ever and it’s already winning all the greatest awards. There is nobody who respects poetry more than I do and what you’re about to read proves that tremendously.

This goes a lot better spoken than written because you’ve got to get the rhythm right, but I’ve been procrastinating on recording it so here we go. Note: I wrote this in just a few minutes after the 3rd debate (inspired by the work of Poem For Your Sprog), then added/edited for a few minutes before deciding to post it.

He goes by Trump, a tremendous grump
Bigly afraid to lose
So when you vote please not by rote
It’s important who you choose
Bigotry, misogyny
“Locker room talk!” some seem to think
But when he says, “grab their pussy”
It sends us to the brink
“Don’t be so sensitive! It’s just a joke!”
But no, that won’t explain it
The truth is he’s just no good
People are saying, “a piece of shit”
Political correctness is not the problem
Another tired old argument
You don’t decide what hurts whom
You intellectual adolescent
Peaceful transition is beyond his comprehension
The temperament of a child
“Of course I’ll accept the results … if I win!”
And his crowd, of course, went wild
But don’t you see, our democracy
is not yours to define
What you believe is an autocracy
with a side of whine
It’s almost time, we’ve come to this
The end is ever closer
As if it could be any other way I say
“Of course I’m with her!”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BL9M61wBagR/

Before I begin, if you’re a US citizen then register to vote. Between the registration deadline and voting day you might have a change of heart. There are lots of places to check if you’re registered and they can help you if you’re not. Here’s one: https://plz.vote/r/1qfe6k

Depending on how many years you’ve been following along you may or may not know that I don’t always vote. Did I ever regret it? Let’s break it down by year.

2000: I voted for Bush. Regret. (Although I don’t think he’s a horrible person and he’s multitudes better than the current Republican choice.)

2004: I didn’t vote. Regret.

2008: I voted for Obama. Best voting decision thus far. (Although not great because I made down ballot mistakes.)

2012: I didn’t care and didn’t vote. Regret more so for the down ballot than the president. I think Mitt Romney probably would have made an alright president even if he lets his ideology make some of his decisions for him.

I can say three things based on my voting record:

1) I’m not registered to a party, I don’t vote based on party lines, and didn’t believe Democrats were inherently better or worse than Republicans.
2) I will now always vote, including mid-term elections, from here on out. Regret is a feeling I’d like to minimize in my life.
3) Not voting or voting for a third party is a wasted vote, no matter how anybody spins it.

Let’s tackle number three. The problem with third party voting is that it doesn’t change anything. If you haven’t voted locally for third parties. If you haven’t supported third parties in smaller campaigns and gotten them *elected*. Then pretending like you want to fix a broken system at the top is something you’ve sold yourself.

And I know the feeling, because it’s exactly how I felt in 2012 when I considered voting third party and ultimately decided against it. “Fuck it. This system doesn’t work. I’m opting out.”

I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong.

The system does work, but it’s imperfect. We’ve been fixing those imperfections for years and we’ll continue to do so for years to come. Imperfection is okay.

What I didn’t want to admit to myself, and maybe you’re in this boat, is that there is nuance to government just like there is nuance to my own life. (I’ll venture to guess that nobody thinks their lives are perfect, even if they’re great.)

If you’re for Trump (and many people I know are) well, there’s nothing I can do except to say that’s disheartening and I hope you won’t regret the vote like I’ve regretted some of my past votes.

This is for those of you thinking about sitting it out or going Johnson or Stein (or other).

I like Johnson. In any other year he would be a decent choice for Republicans. But it’s not any other year. Among other things, the Republican controlled Senate has refused to do their jobs and our Supreme Court has been short handed for longer than is acceptable. (My regret: I helped put some of those folks in office with my non-vote.) But it’s also different because Trump is the Republican nominee and you already know how terrible he is or you probably wouldn’t be thinking about voting third party.

By nearly every objective measure Clinton/Kaine is a better choice for the majority of people. Imperfect? Sure. Best choice? Definitely. If you voted for and liked Obama, well this year’s ticket is even more progressive. To be honest, as a classical liberal, I prefer things to be in the center, but there’s that nuance again. Centrism is a somewhat utopian vision that I don’t suspect will ever come to pass. So I’ll take progressiveness over regressiveness any day, even if I’m not fully on board with all of it.

And you can say what you want about Secretary Clinton, because she’s surely not without faults, but in non-voting years her Republican counterparts had a lot of great things to say about her. She has done a fine job working across party lines. More than that, even this year many well known Republicans are voting for her. It’s actually unprecedented how many folks are crossing party lines to vote for Clinton/Kaine.

I try as much as possible to be on the right side of history. Divisiveness, racism, bigotry, nationalism, and religious privilege/entitlement are the types of things I thought (hoped, anyway) that we were finally moving passed.

If you want to see what it’s like when a country’s people succumb to those feelings again you can look around at what has happened in elections and referendums around the world.

For example, in Poland just on Monday millions of women protested for abortion rights. Poland already has some of the most restrictive women’s rights in the world and it might get worse before it gets better. How many of these same women voted in an anti-abortion right wing ruling party in last year’s elections? A lot of them. I personally know a few who now regret that vote.

Your vote (and non or third party vote) has consequences. If you don’t want Trump to be our president, but you don’t vote or you vote third party, you will regret your vote just like I’ve regretted some of mine. I assure you you’ll look back in a few years and think, “god dammit why was I so young and dumb and full of rum? Why did I care so much about my own precious little feelsies and refrain from making a difficult choice so I could claim to protect my supposed conscience?”

Thanks for reading. If nothing else I hope I’ve made a reasonable case for registering to vote so you’re ready to go on Nov 8. (Registration deadlines are coming up fast.)

Update (Thursday Oct 6): 30 former Republican congressmen denounced Trump today in an open letter and say they will not vote for him. It just keeps coming.

Update (Friday Oct 7): Fuck Donald Trump. Deplorable, indeed.